10 SIGNS OF CAREGIVER STRESS

Anyone in this chaotic world can suddenly find themselves in an unplanned caregiving situation.  The nest does not always stay "empty" just because kids grow up and leave the home nest. It is not uncommon for children to move back to their childhood home alone or with their children after they  experience a catastrophic life event. 

In a different scenerio, there is the issue of unplanned caregiving when a spouse , parent  or child develops a significant life event that requires the wife to assume the role of primary caregiver. Diseases such as Alzheimers and terminal diagnoses of cancer, heart or lung disease or dementia can quickly upset an established life routine for the primary caregiver.

Even the words PRIMARY CAREGIVER sounds scary.  Primary=first or one in charge.  It is not uncommon to hear caregivers say, how can I take care of this other person when I can hardly take care of myself.

No matter what the circumstances surrounding the caregiving issue.  The number one threat to the caregiver's health is unidentified and uncontrolled stress.  The first step to caregiver survival is the recognition of 10 WARNING SIGNS that a caregiver's stress is getting out of control.

1.  DENIAL:  I am OK.  I can handle all of this.  I know that things are going to settle down.

2.  ANGER: at the ill person and/or other family members who are not helping provide with the cares or cost of cares.

3.  ANXIETY:  Fear about facing another day like today...tomorrow may be worse.  What am I going to do when I can't provide all the cares their loved one needs.  May have periods of near panic.

4.  SOCIAL WITHDRAWAL:  sometimes staying away from things and situations that used to bring the caregiver joy is less stressful than to have to decline offers for socialization.  Caregivers are often fearful that they have nothing else to share with others than the details of their current situation.,

5.  IRRITABILITY:  moodiness and out of character emotional outbursts.  Negativity in thoughts and actions. No one can do anything right.   Might as well do it myself

6.  INSOMNIA:  unable to unwind to a relaxing state for rest and sleep because of her ever growing list of what ifs...what if I fall asleep and don't hear him call for me...what it he gets up alone and falls...what if...what if...what if...

7.  LACK OF CONCENTRATION:  can't think straight. unable to complete routine tasks.  Forgeting appointments, late pick up of a child, missing routinely scheduled meetings.

8.  DEPRESSION: Because the caregiver is so overwhelmed, her ability to cope with simple things that used to be routine bring her great emotional distress.  Unable to see any light at the end of the tunnel.

9.  EXHAUSTION:  So tired and "strung out" the caregiver finds it nearly impossible to complete necessary daily tasks.

10.  HEALTH PROBLEMS:  Both physical and mental.  Physical Ex: wt loss, changes in hair and skin texture, frequent headaches, stomach distress, increased muscle aches.  Mental Ex: loss of interest in appearance, altered thought patterns.

When caregivers are going through a difficult situation it is most helpful that they know themselves.  What stresses them and what types of things help them destress. Learn to arrange for extra help when encountering situations that normally stress you out.  Troubled times will only intensity the stress you feel.

Give yourself permission to let your frustrations out in a healthy way.  It's ok to be angry, sad, disappointed, helpless.  Acknowledge your feelings and work through them--don't be afraid to ask professionals for help.

Bond with friends and family for support.

Seek out community agencies and support groups in your locality.

PRAY for strength to successfully maneuver through this challenging life event.